


A Worthwhile Prank

by maya02



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life, bros being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maya02/pseuds/maya02
Summary: An inoffensive prank on the most feared warlord.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	A Worthwhile Prank

**Author's Note:**

> Another crack fic that actually took effort. This fic is actually based on a dream with this video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNXWZOJOe3A  
> Do not why I continued writing past the second page.

Voices could be heard in the already empty hallways of the ship, it was not unusual to find drunken bots just walking around the hallways as soon the evening shifts ended, since most bots are either recharging or getting drunk at Swerve’s or Visages. But there was still a considerable amount of bots hanging out in one of the bars.

“Are you sure this is the way?”. A very stoned Drift questioned, he was still trying to make out of a sense of the surroundings Rodimus was taking him.

“Shut up. I'm trying to see the numbers of the… habsuites.” Rodimus in the other hand, with static eating up most of his words, he was looking at each one of the habsuite numbers in the hallway with the intention to remember the one where Megatron was recharging.

“We even paid that cat of his, that little snitching cat”. Drift said while he was leaning on Rodimus’s shoulders. he was annoyed, since the price he had to pay for the stealthy cat silence was up to three digits. He was still mad about it.

“Shh. You're going to see it’s gonna worth it”.

“Did you find the habsuite already? I feel my visor is starting to give up on me. I don't even know if im walking on straight floor.”

Rodimus frowned at a certain habsuite for a moment. “Is that the habsuite?” Drift asked impatiently.

He tapped at the door and turned his head towards him. “This is the one, get th-” He made a little pause while his optics were looking at the ceiling with mouth half open like if the word he was thinking about just flew out of his mind. “- that little thing ready”. 

Drift started looking on his pockets for a bottle of thermal paste, he was not allowed to take things from the workshops, so he made his best to keep it on his, “safe and sound” drawer, a secret pocket in other words.

When he found the right pocket, Drift tried to pull out the bottle, but it was not coming out. In fact, he was having a hard time taking it out, he did not remember the bottle being this hard to pull out.

Pull after pull, each one was becoming more and more inconclusive.

Not even the most reliable and trustful seer in the entire galaxy could anticipate one of the most frightening ex-warriors being high and having a hard time to get out a bottle of thermal paste from his own frame.

“Uhm, Rodimus?”

Rodimus was also having a hard time trying to remember **his own staff password.** _Why is this password so fragging long? Why I didn’t write it down somewhere?_

“Oh I do!” Rodimus said out loud. He took his personal datapad out of his pocket and searched through his messy and disorderly database for his own password. It was until he noticed his friend was acting up oddly enough to just not ignore him.

“What is it?” Rodimus finally turned to respond.

“The bottle…”

“You brought it with you, right?”

“Yeah, but… It does not want to come out.” Drift stopped doing any effort pulling out the bottle and stood still.

“Huh??” Rodimus frowned at him.

“The bottle, doesn’t want to come out…”

“What you mean it doesn't want to come out?”

The swordsman just sighed at him. “Just, help me mech, this thing is against me and it’s not giving me good vibes, you know?.” The way he said it was very serious compared to what was really happening to him, Rodimus knew this and chuckled.

“Okay mech, where is it?”

“Right there you see it?? I think it’s stuck, really stuck” Drift pointed at his secret pocket.

“ _Meeech,_ I didn't know you had a secret pocket.” Rodimus was astonished by it.

“Really cool huh?”

“Yeaaaaah.” Rodimus noticed how long they were staring at his pocket and realized how little time they had left.

“Ok so, it sees that… You’re trying out taking it out, vertically, while your pocket is in fact… Huh... “

“Horizontally?” Drift help him answer.

“Yeah, it’s horizon tall .” The captain then, tried to move the bottle inside of the pocket to take it out correctly. Finally, he could take the bottle out.

“There, it’s out”

“Thanks Rodimus, my mech.” Drift approached and gave a hug to his friend, he had no choice but to let him hug, few seconds passed by and the show of affection was still going.

He put his friend aside as slowly as possible and prayed so Drift would not squeeze him again, it was well known how affectionate his friend could be.

He turned back to the screen and continued searching for the password.

_Important things, important things 2, important important things, really important things, things... Since when do I have so many folders?_

He thought about looking for the password by file name, but he didn't even remember what name he saved it with. He scratched his helm, and started using his processor for real this time.

_If I wanted no one to find the file, then the logical thing would be to save it in a folder where no one would see…_

Quickly, he went back from several subfolders to the main ones and entered the folder named “magnus reports i have to fill”. A folder filled with the most boring file names, when Rodimus received these reports from Ultra Magnus, he just dumped them into this folder and never opened them again.

[Report 327 Gun Count]

[Report 328 Ammo Count] 

[Report 12 Work Shifts]

[Report 13 Morning Work Shifts]

[Report 14 Evening Work Shifts]

[Report 15 Night Work Shifts]

[Report 43-A Work Shift Accidents]

[Report 44-A Accident In Bars]

[Report 45-B Brainstorm Nuclear Accidents]

[Report 46-B Perceptor Nuclear Accidents]

[Report 47-C Brainstorm And PerceptorNuclear Accidents]

Just looking at these file names made him yawn just like these monotonous morning meetings. Rodimus was scrolling through the folder faster and faster, just in the opportunity he would find a file with a name not like the others. 

He reached the end of the folder, with reports numbers reaching almost one hundred thousand, a plain text file appeared with the name “pass wurd”.

With little hope, he quickly opened the file and just as he thought, there it was the personal password written in a simple text file without any kind of encryption, _how irresponsible on his part._

But, it actually made sense on why he chose a filename like that, the reason behind was so malicious bots who had his personal datapad, could not find the file with a name as simple as "staff password", he misspelled it so one could find it, even less inside of a folder with tons of unfilled Ultra Magnus reports, _how genius on his part._

After a mental self congratulations, he entered the password in the door code. The engex effects were starting to make effect, he thought that he could pass out soon, but he was willing to pull out this prank no matter what. Rodimus mentally boosted himself, made some small leaps to regain consciousness and sighed loudly.

“Drift, get that camera ready.” Almost asleep, Drift got up from the ground, turned on his camera and stood behind Rodimus. Everything was set up for the prank.

The door opened, worryingly loud, Rodimus thought this was enough to wake up the warlord, but as soon as he entered the habsuite, he realized something.

_Megatron was snoring, loudly._

Rodimus processor was heavy threading on thinking if this was oddly cute or totally horrifying. The two stood just meters from the Megatron’s berth thinking on what to do, Drift lit his flashlight, and gave Rodimus a little push to keep moving forward. Every step and snoring was getting louder and louder.

There was no going back.

And then, they were next to his berth, both noticed that he was recharging with his mouth wide open, and optics half-open. The position in which he was, it was nothing like what the rumors said, straight like a dead bot, but instead a starfish position just like a newborn sparkling would sleep.

“Are you recording?” Rodimus whispered, and Drift made a gesture with his hand behind the camera to confirm.

He turned back to Megatron and raised the thermal paste bottle, his optics were so open and focused that he wondered again if he was really drunk, he was neither terrified nor nervous, he had already pulled out worse pranks in worse situations, but what made this so uncomfortable was the loud, and throat-based snoring.

 _Frag it._ Rodimus thought, and hurried in squeezing the bottle.

He did it a little bit too fast, the first shot of thermal paste landed between his intake and chin, a failed shoot indeed.

Another squeeze, this time pointing at the mouth, it actually landed perfectly on the mouth, Rodimus does not notice any interruption on his snoring, so he continued squeezing the bottle for a continuous dispensing.

The whole face was being covered with thermal paste, he initially started with a path all over his face, but now his face was getting covered by that new texture.

Drift could not stop laughing, it was not like the first giggles were not quiet, but they were gradually becoming louder.

“Mech keep quiet!” Rodimus said without being distracted from what he was doing, but he was also trying not to laugh.

Then, the snoring began to interrupt, Megatron was starting to being aware of this, not fully conscious, but aware that something was happening. The only thing he could do was raising his servo, but he was failing miserably if he was trying to avoid the thermal paste getting on his face. 

“Oh, slag.” Megatron said weakly.

Rodimus began to hurry a little to get all of the thermal paste left out of the bottle. Megatron tried to move his helm around, this failed again, he could still feel the thermal falling on his face.

A little of it, fell directly into the mouth of Megatron, making him cough loudly, Rodimus put a servo on his mouth to avoid exploding on laugh. He had never on his lifespark heard Megatron cough like this, more strangely in this context.

All of his face was now covered in thermal paste.

“Frag off!” Megatron tried to mean it seriously, but his tone of vocalizer said otherwise. The rest of the bottle was finally coming out, the warlord was still feeling thermal paste falling out. He let out a little cry. Both Drift and Rodimus were flipping out in how extremely strange was to see Megatron in this state, so incoherent and so unresponsive. 

He waved with his servos and finally tried to get up from the berth, but his recharge cables were still plugged so he was drawn back by inertia. Rodimus and Drift did not hold back on laughing. Rodimus was still trying to squeeze the rest of the bottle.

Megatron heard the laughs and tried to deduce who they were. But his system was still booting up, his processor was not acting up correctly and blamed again on his fool’s energon recharge, he did not remember how slowly was his boot system.

“I will kick your fragging ass!” Megatron could not believe what came out of his mouth.

“Megatron cursing? Oh what would Magnus think about this?” Rodimus said mockingly. It was not visible, but Megatron could feel a heat on his face. 

He quickly reached for his back and tried to unplug the recharge cables, he pulled them out and tried again to get up from his berth, he felt how the two unknown bots were starting to back off.

“Drift keep recording! Check this o-” The captain realized his mistake.

“Rodimus! Don’t say my name!” He gasped, he just did the same thing.

“Rodimus? Drift?” Megatron said, his system booted entirely, the only thing that was not working correctly were his optics since they were completely covered in thermal paste.

“Oh slag, Drift! Abort the mission, abort!" 

"Stop saying my name Rodimus! Frag! I did it again!"

"You, you will pay for this!" Megatron surely tried to mean it seriously, but his weak vocalizer said otherwise, he stood from his berth and, tried to follow the voices blindly.

Rodimus was the first to get out the habsuite, Drift who was behind him was still pointing the camera at Megatron; did not see the little bump on the door gate and tripped down with it. Luckily, he was able to get up quickly before Megatron. 

_They were fast_ , Megatron thought, still he kept chasing them. He tried to clean with his servos some of the thermal paste from his visor, but it had already glued up on his face completely, nonetheless he could take out some of it and take a peek of at least where he was walking by. 

The two of them were already out of his habsuite at least, he just hope no one was watching this. The chasing, surprisingly enough, did not last long, Megatron stopped going after them after the second hallway and let them escape.

He thought it was already too much embarrassment for today.

"We'll see each other tomorrow still, Rodimus.” He tried to say, he could tell that Rodimus heard him when he sank his helm into his shoulders in realization. Megatron went back to his habsuite, totally defeated.

Once closed the door, he wondered where Ravage was and why he did not warn him about the intruders. Trying not to think too much about it, he went to the washracks to try cleaning the thermal paste. Once finished, he looked at himself in the mirror for a moment.

“Nobody respects me here anymore.” he said, but he did not felt upset, but with a feeling of resignation. Megatron sighed, and went back to recharging. Thinking in how to get over the embarrassment that was waiting for him tomorrow.

* * *

The two bots arrived to Drift’s habsuite, after laughing non-stop in the empty hallways of the ship, they had a good time, but it was time to end the day.

“You recorded everything, right?” Rodimus asked.

“At high quality.” His friend responded with an “okay” sign.

“This is gonna explode tomorrow, everyone is going to watch it!”

“The video of the millenium I tell you.”

“Absolutely.”

And so, they both fell silent.

“This is, your room right?”

“I… I think so.” Drift had to check the habsuite number to be sure. 

“Okay then, send me a quick comm before uploading the video alright?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“And… Drift…” Rodimus lowered his helm. Drift turned to see him, “I just wanted to say thanks…” Drift chuckled “Why?”

“Because you are the only one on this ship that would accept to pull this dumb joke.”

“Oh mech, come here.” Drift took him by the shoulder and gave him one last hug. “You know you can always count on me, you know that?” Rodimus could not help but feel a warm heat on his spark.

“Yeah, mech, thanks.” 

“Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Yeah, I will…”

Both of them gestured goodbye and left. Rodimus could not stop thinking about it, it really felt good having a friend like that. He smiled to himself and went back to his habsuite.

* * *

The next day, Megatron had his head leaned against his desk. The video was already posted on that board site, it was sure everyone on the ship would have already seen it. Everything about it was horrible, nothing there was talking good about him, his starfish position, the thermal paste on his face, and his failed attempt on the chasing.

Ravage, who was up on his berth counting his shanix, could not stop laughing.

The worst of all of this, it was a comm message from Ultra Magnus.

“May I ask you the reason why you used such word on that video?”


End file.
